· They don’t shut the hell up. Ever.
o A dog’s mind: “HEY A PERSON BARK BARK FUCKING BARK…. OH HEY A SQUIRREL BARK BARK BARK GRRRRRR BARK… MY REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR I HATE YOU BARK BARK ABRK!!!!!!”
o A cat’s mind: “MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. (repeat infinitely) PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. ( also repeat infinitely)
· They poop and pee more than you do
· They shed
· They’re hyper as puppies, they’re retarded and angry as adults, and just when they start to calm down and be cool they die. Little fuckers
· They eat EVERYTHING
o My mother has a dog that thinks its own shit is quite tasty.
o A different retard dog of my mother’s once ate an entire package of fucking chips ahoy chocolate chip cookies. Those cookies were MINE. THEY WERE MINE, AND THAT BITCH ATE THEM. I hoped it would die for this blasphemy but somehow is lived through an entire thing of chocolate chip cookies.
· They attack me. Sometimes playfully, sometimes they want to eat my throat because they’re Rottweiler asshole dogs who think they’re better than me. They don’t realize I can kick their face quicker than they can jump on me.
· They don’t appreciate my stuff. In other words: they chew up, poop on, piss on, hide, bury and or do other annoying things to my stuff. You chew on my shoe, it means war.
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