So I’ll start off by saying, I have no clue how many people have ever gotten to find a couch on the side of the road, carried it to an intersection and sat on it with your friends and waved at people, but just to let you know it’s awesome.
So I’m hanging out with my friends and we were playing cards for like an hour or two and we started to get bored so we decide to just drive around a little bit. We go down a street that one of our friends lives on for no real reason and all of a sudden someone yells “COUCH!” and then everyone immediately is in “let’s go do stupid stuff with a couch” mode. Ever been in that mode before? It’s like an orgasm but better.
We go back and see this couch that someone wants to get rid of and we’re thinking if they don’t want it, we do. So we start off by figuring out what to do with it so we get out of the car and our friend drives off when we get out like a douche but we knew he’d come back in two seconds so we just sat on the couch and bided our time. When he comes back we decide to put the couch sticking out of his trunk and having it drag on the ground while driving while people were holding it. Difficult to do but it works. Then we thought the driver thought he saw a cop so we ditched the couch and hid it in about 7.5 seconds.
But it turns out a police car and an ice cream truck look exactly the same to my friend. So we start trying to get the couch back into its original position. At this point in time I managed to close the trunk when my friend was in the trunk, he didn’t like it very much but everyone else was laughing so it was all good. We drive the couch down the street and then carry it to a random intersection and just sit on it and wave at people.
People seemed to love us for doing this. I guess sitting on a couch is something heroic now. People were literally taking pictures of us and filming us. And waving at us and going “WOOOOH YEEEAHHHHH!” This fun lasted for probably an hour and then we see a cop car. And we have a discussion on if this is illegal or not (we had already thought about it but were like “nah can’t be illegal” but as soon as you see cops you have second thoughts). That cop car drives away so we’re fine… for now. Then about two minutes later a different cop car comes. This time it was a cop SUV with two police instead of one.
This time we knew it was for us. They drive past us and my friends think they’re gonna leave but I know better so I go “THEY’RE PARKING AT MITZELS… no one look back at them and just continue being awesome and don’t even act like you know they’re there yet” then they walk up to us, from the back of the couch and this is how the conversation goes:
Cop: soooo uh what’s goin on her guys?
Us: nothing, just chillin.
Cop: juct chillin?
Us: yeah just sitting on the couch and waving at people.
Cop: hmm…
Us: is this illegal?
Cop: ohh yeeeeahhhh.
Us: oh really? Wow we didn’t know…
Cop: how did you even get the couch here?
Us: we carried it
Cop: you carried it?
Us: yeah from our friends house, he lives near here.
Cop: …. I gotta admit, this is pretty cool.
Us: you want us to just take it back to his house or something?
Cop: yeah that’d be great.
Us: oh okay then. Seeya
Pretty cool cops. So we start walking and then one of my friends needs to throw some trash away so we sit down on the couch outside at taco bell for awhile while he throws trash away and then we needed “resting time” from carrying it. Then we keep moving before we get in trouble again. Then we decide that he said we couldn’t be on the sidewalk, not the grass.
So we put the couch on the grass near a Wendy’s and chill for a while, then the same cops drive by and two of my friends BOOK IT, and so the only people on the couch are my friend and I and the cops turn around and drive by, and over the loud speaker go “keeeeep movin, I wanna see you guys doin couch ups. Let’s go” and they just drive off after that so we COULD have just chilled on the couch again but we decided to respect these cops because they were so awesome.
So then we take the couch back to our friend’s house and put it in his garage. Which he will find out when he gets back from Germany in two weeks.
My friends and I are gonna be SO pissed if we don't get on the news for this. If all those cops that saw us and random people who took pictures and videos don't get us to be on the news, we'll be quite dissapointed.... and we'll just do it again.
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