Being Out Of Shape Sucks

I’m just around 6 feet tall and weigh 140 pounds (63.6 Kilos). That poundage is pure fat. Ya know how I know I’m out of shape? Jogging half a mile makes my legs die. Not nice peaceful death either; I mean like “POWs in Japan tortured to death” death. It’s bull shit. I don’t have time to work out and the act of jogging itself seems to have no effect on my legs. Which is odd because I figured jogging was HOW you exercised, but my legs disagree. I can get abs in like a month. Get non shitty legs, probably take a decade. I don’t get it at all. I also don’t get how I’m not like 5 times my current weight. I eat soooo much and for the most part don’t do too many physical activities. My metabolism used to be like “You drank water and ate an apple? PLUS 50 POUNDS MWAHAHAHAHA!” now it’s just like “you ate 6 whole cattle?...what are you, on a diet or something? C’mon lightweight, eat more. Trying to watch your girlish figure?” Moral of the story: My metabolism is a bitch. Oh right and I need to get in shape. But that’s a boring moral so go with the first one.