Sports Hate Me

So I watch just about all sports and I follow many teams. But for some reason, all the teams lose and I’m 97% sure that they lose just to spite me. I could be wrong but when it seems like only the teams I like are losing, it’s hard to not think they just want me to hate them back or something. And no I don’t like crappy teams (but I suppose they aren’t good since they keep fricken losing).


TEAMS I LIKE:

FIFA World Cup: Germany

Premier League: Liverpool

Bundesliga: Bayern Munich

NFL: Seattle Seahawks

MLS: Houston Dynamo

NHL: Anaheim Ducks < okay they suck now, I’ll admit

NBA: Dallas Mavericks

College Football: University of Texas

College Basketball: University of Texas, Baylor

^^^^^^ Not bad teams, BUT THEY LOSE IMPORTANT GAMES^^^^^

Germany gets 3rd place at the world cup, yippee. Third place means “Spain beat us”. Third place isn’t a good thing. Third place is like being the team that lost the least (confusing I know). It’s arguably better than second, which is like going all the way to the finals and then ultimately losing, and not getting your 900 million Euro bonus for winning the cup (I’d cry).

Bayern Munich, arguably the best team in Bundesliga (German soccer/football), manages to lose with 71% ball possession, more shots, more shots on goal, more everything basically. Even if you don’t like soccer/football, I’m sure you understand the crapiness that is a team playing all together better than the other team, and losing 2-0.

When you make as much money as professional sports players, I don’t think making a deal with the devil to win all your games is too much to ask. If I had a $10 Million a year salary, I don’t think I’d care if I lost my soul to the devil after I died. It wouldn’t bother me after living in a castle made of gold and diamonds for like 50 years after I retire. And by retire of course I mean retire, join a new team, retire, join a new team (*cough*Favre*cough*) and then after I really retire I’ll get some show on MTV and NBC. Rough life. All that money.

In conclusion, my teams should sell their souls to the devil to win so that I don’t have to watch them lose anymore.